Thanks, but no thanks. (Fake) Rejection letter hell.

For some road-to-publishing fun, I decided to take some of the most [in]famous rejection letters (sent to UBER famous authors), and combine them into one hellish rejection. 

Fake Rejection by Kerri Maniscalco

May the dreaded form rejection never look quite-so-bad again, my fellow author-ly types. Have a fabulous day. <3333

*Rejection excerpts taken from the following authors/works:

LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov

THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK

THE WAR OF THE WORLDS by HG Wells

CARRIE by Stephen King

THE DEER PARK by Norman Mailer

THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS by Kenneth Grahame

LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding

LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER by DH Lawrence

Jorge Luis Borges

Hurricane Irene: Preparedness Kit. Vodka Style

These are the essential items I’ve prepared for my Hurricane kit, and thought I’d share them with you. You’re welcome.

Item number one: Skittles

Item number two: Vodka

Essential item number three: wind up radio

Item number four: water

In all seriousness stock up on REAL essentials, and stay safe. This is going to be one hell of a storm. Love and kisses. XO

Here’s info on evacuation plans for NYC. CLICK HERE! 

**And if you’re under 21, sorry you’re going to have to hand the vodka over to me. HAND IT OVER NOOOW. <3333

 

Little Secrets

My alphabet starts with this letter called yuzz. It’s the letter I use to spell yuzz-a-ma-tuzz. You’ll be sort of surprised what there is to be found once you go beyond ‘Z’ and start poking around! — Dr. Seuss

Dear Dr. Seuss, aka Teddy baby:

I’ll have one of whatever it is you’re smoking, drinking, popping, having.

Smooches,

Me

<3333333333333333

We’re going to be friends

“I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass.”
— Cassandra Clare

 Cheers to all you badass writers out there, being brave every single day. Don’t think you’re awesome?

YOU stare rejection in the face and laugh.

Sure, sometimes you may cry, but guess what? YOU STILL PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. Which makes you one helluva badass. Just sayin. XOXO

<333333333333

Creature Fear

Click photo for source

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever.” — Terry Pratchett

Tell that to Fluffy.

Be like Fluffy with your writing. The more you read and write, the better you’ll get. I pinky swear. XOXO