Thanks, but no thanks. (Fake) Rejection letter hell.

For some road-to-publishing fun, I decided to take some of the most [in]famous rejection letters (sent to UBER famous authors), and combine them into one hellish rejection. 

Fake Rejection by Kerri Maniscalco

May the dreaded form rejection never look quite-so-bad again, my fellow author-ly types. Have a fabulous day. <3333

*Rejection excerpts taken from the following authors/works:

LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov

THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK

THE WAR OF THE WORLDS by HG Wells

CARRIE by Stephen King

THE DEER PARK by Norman Mailer

THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS by Kenneth Grahame

LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding

LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER by DH Lawrence

Jorge Luis Borges