May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs

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“May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!”

– Owen K. Lorion

And when all else fails you could exercise. Or drink more and not care… like me. Either way, HAPPY TURKEY DAY! There won’t be a post tomorrow or Friday, but I’ll see you sugar dumplings back here on CYBER MONDAY! Fo’ Sho.

Please stand clear of the turkey, thank you.

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It’s the Monday before Thanksgiving and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a… wait a minute. That’s complete bull! I’m stirring – and I’m not talking about the holiday gravy yet.

Even with all the early holiday warnings broadcast over radio and television waves, I’ve managed to avoid grabbing the traditional turkey. Which can only mean one unfortunate thing: I’ll have to stand in line at the super market fighting off all the other last minute domestic goddesses for the perfect bird to stuff.

So women (and men) of New York, if you see this little lady coming down the aisle in your local grocery store – stand clear. This foodie’s on a mission. Anthony Bourdain – I’m talking to you too pal, please stand clear of the poultry.

I’ve got a serious case of Holiday Anxiety and it isn’t pretty kids. It’s one part procrastination and two-parts neurosis. However, my second novel is coming along fabulously, which is an even greater mystery.

On a serious note, I’d like to send a very special shout-out to my Twitter friends. I’ve really had a lot of fun getting to know you over the last three or four months. There are so many talented people that I’m humbled to now know. So holiday stressing aside – thank you for being AWESOME, I’m most thankful for YOU this year.

What are you most thankful for? Let me know in the comment section or @reply me on Twitter.