May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs

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“May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!”

– Owen K. Lorion

And when all else fails you could exercise. Or drink more and not care… like me. Either way, HAPPY TURKEY DAY! There won’t be a post tomorrow or Friday, but I’ll see you sugar dumplings back here on CYBER MONDAY! Fo’ Sho.

Thanksgiving food coma: A national pastime

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“The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching.  Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up.” – Ted Allen

Dear Ted Allen,

Whilst I agree with the majority of your statement, I find myself lying on the floor after a large holiday meal, face up and spread-eagle, contemplating life, AKA napping. Please see the above photo for reference.


A gluttonous foodie

Please stand clear of the turkey, thank you.

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It’s the Monday before Thanksgiving and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a… wait a minute. That’s complete bull! I’m stirring – and I’m not talking about the holiday gravy yet.

Even with all the early holiday warnings broadcast over radio and television waves, I’ve managed to avoid grabbing the traditional turkey. Which can only mean one unfortunate thing: I’ll have to stand in line at the super market fighting off all the other last minute domestic goddesses for the perfect bird to stuff.

So women (and men) of New York, if you see this little lady coming down the aisle in your local grocery store – stand clear. This foodie’s on a mission. Anthony Bourdain – I’m talking to you too pal, please stand clear of the poultry.

I’ve got a serious case of Holiday Anxiety and it isn’t pretty kids. It’s one part procrastination and two-parts neurosis. However, my second novel is coming along fabulously, which is an even greater mystery.

On a serious note, I’d like to send a very special shout-out to my Twitter friends. I’ve really had a lot of fun getting to know you over the last three or four months. There are so many talented people that I’m humbled to now know. So holiday stressing aside – thank you for being AWESOME, I’m most thankful for YOU this year.

What are you most thankful for? Let me know in the comment section or @reply me on Twitter.