Inspiration, Nature

The “Bear” Necessities

Up until this week whenever I thought about bears this song popped into my head—> 

And then something TERRIFYING happened, and I wasn’t even drinking! (GASP!) A crash echoed outside SO. FREAKING. LOUDLY. that I was convinced of two things: 1. Someone was trying to break in. And 2. Someone was trying to break in.

In those brief seconds, I also discovered that if my life were a horror film, I would be the moron who ran TOWARD the guy with the axe. HAVE I LEARNED NOTHING FROM MICHAEL MYERS? OR FREDDY-GODFORSAKEN-KRUEGER? Holy MOTHER, even the Scream franchise should have prepared me for this. Run away from the bone chilling sounds. RUN AWAY FOOL.

Instead of cowering under my bed (like BOTH of my traitor cats did, BTW), I ran downstairs (SANS weapon, oh the HUMANITY!), flicked the lights on and bravely threw the blinds back–ready to stare danger in its masked face. What I would have done if some axe-wielding maniac was in fact, standing on my porch, I’ll never know.

Because….I saw this: 

 But in my mind it registered like this:

And I’m all “Awww, a fuzzy wittle bear-bear.” So I got the moron urge to go outside and take a picture, and then this happened:

Not really, but close. So my mind IMMEDIATELY thought of this:

Which finally made me do THIS:

To which, I ran back inside and locked the door.

I promise these are the only ferocious wild creatures I’ll photograph from now on:

Have a great weekend <333333’s.

 All photos are credited to

8 thoughts on “The “Bear” Necessities”

  1. i was just shuffling through crap on the internet when i found this, definitely not crap, love how you write, very funny.

  2. Haha!!! I loves you and your madcap adventures, twinkster! You make my heart smile. *sigh* This was soooooo deliciously funny. And you are BRAVE. Just remember that next time, when you see that cuddly little bear, that he’s looking back at you and seeing this:

    Just make sure you’re riding a ski board so you can make a quick getaway like that guy. HEE

  3. This is awesome! I don’t know how I missed it before. lol too funny. DON’T RUN TOWARD THE NOISE!! RUNAWAY!!

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